1
Y’all just got out of school and someone says “aye bro can we chill at your house”?. How do you respond?
My mom is being a PuTa and I gotta go back, but we can play MTG this weekend(?).
Do I even have a- oh and there they are inside my house and there goes my food and games.
Ye man we gotta take 2 subways, 4 buses and cross a river to get there y’all cool with that?
MASSAS VIETNAMITAS!! Come on over guys I have weed and money and my parents are out for the week!
Ye wtv I don’t care it’s chill.
Meu casa ser não perto.
2
It’s friday afternoon and y’all are planning what you’re doing for the night. What do you suggest?
Guys there’s a prerelease at Dracula right now, and I know we can go tomorrow but like, the more MTG the better!
Stay in the streets till 2 pm and dip(?) is that a good idea? Oh and you all are sleeping at my house? But like...my mom...
Guys I can’t my parents and siblings are making me stay at home and play FM.
Shit wtv y’all doing idc LETS GET CROSSFADED WHILE HITTING UP BROTHELS!!!
I’m tired im taking a raincheck.
*cried because you have no idea what you want to do*
3
Your crush is showing clear signs that the feelings are reciprocated? What you doin?
Quite literally having it a sure thing and somehow I still fuck shit up. Is pregnancy a choice?
Nah bro she ain’t into me I’m going to smash her best friend it’s my only choice.
Take her on a few dates and make a move to make sure everything goes smoothly :).
Hit that, quit that, orgy it up.
*makes out once and never talks about it again*
*cries and speaks in bottom language*
4
Y’all go out and your friend is quite literally dying from booze. Your action?
*screams and asks for help*
*hits on cute girl while giving the dying man cups of water and feeding him cheese burgers*
*is at home vibing in FM*
*is the dying friend*
*has a clear plan and helps friend out by coordinating a help plan*
*is quite concerned and doesn’t know what to do so you just stand there looking worried*
5
Someone passed you the aux. What you playing?
Guys have you heard the guardians of the galaxy mixtape?
*blasts anime opening*
Okay so y’all want which upcoming trap artist/mumble rapper/RnB musician?
Okay vibe with me...eternal atake but on loop.
*2000s remix starts spinning*
Yo hear me out have you heard of this totally underground alternative musician it’s called-
6
Your friends come over and your mom greets them. Later they all come to to tell you this:
“Jesus why do you complain about your mom so much? She was nice to all of us.”
“Nice lady, we should come over more often if she’s gonna be a better host than you. I don’t know why you are so mean to such a nice lady.”
My friends haven’t met my mom. Never have, never will.
“Yo dude this your mom? I thought it was your sister holy shit! Can I get her number?”
“Why does your mom like your cat more than you?”
“Does your mom speak our language? lmaooooo”
7
Your SO (special someone) is coming over and you are cooking. The menu is...
Anything she asks for. I will find out what her favorite food is and cook it to please her.
Some tasty meat or seafood with pasta, that can eventually lead your SO to have a heart attack or simply very high cholesterol levels.
Flambé lamb with an entry of garlic bread and a desert of crystallized apple slices, or whatever the very best French cuisine can offer.
massas vietnamitas and booze. Take it or leave it bitch.
McDonald’s or Burger king. I got games to play girl I can’t be cooking.
If you are a man, the woman must cook as soon as she arrives. If you are a woman you have brought all the pastries and nice cookies your man can want.
8
What is your role in a night out?
Professional viber and mood lifter.
Host and that guy that fools others for booze and drinks with everyone.
Homie I don’t even go wtf.
Money bags and party maker, a.k.a. That guy that gets you everything.
“Will you marry me even though I just met you today?”
Horny and depressed. Ye. That one. You know the one.
9
Your SO just broke up with you. How do you react?
She can’t, she’s pregnant.
Fuck their best friend, what else?
“I STILL SEE YOUR SHADOWS IN MY ROOM”
*is the one that breaks up with SO instead* *suggests polygamist relationship before parting ways*
It’s okay man. Guess she just wasn’t the one. It be how it be. Y’all wanna come over and play FIFA?
*gets drunk and cries while eating in front of the TV while romcoms are on*
10
The boys are hitting up an anime convention. What’s your position?
Packing mule. Your empty bag will carry everything, however you face the risk of being left to die if found.
Cat. You distract the people of the stand so the swiping can take place.
Owl. You make sure the stuff is legit and is worth the hit.
Raccoon. You do the main action and all the swiping. You may take most of the credits, however you have the risk of falling victim to the authorities if someone doesn’t do their job right.
Eagle. You gather intel and check which stands are more vulnerable and what strategy would best fit.
Ant. You have no idea what your doing there. You went to have fun and everyone started acting up. What the actual fuck guys.
